Peter Pan

Last night the family was together watching Peter Pan...a personal favorite...toward the end of the movie the Wendy turns to Peter to give him a thimble (a kiss)...

Now the boys and I are sitting on the big couch, Vilayphone is on the little one and baby girl is on the ground wrapped in a blanket big enough for her to get lost in for a week.

...just as they kiss, I look over at the boys and we all make that kissing is gross noise, you know somewhere between the I hate going to the dentist groan and kindly remove the toothpick from my eyes, they've had enough noise...just as we are entering full swing into our audible rebellion of Wendy and Peter Pan's act, Ella, our just turned three years old but gonna DIVA anyway, whips around and with all the ferocity of a baby lamb grunts "its not silly, its not silly!" We lost it :)

On another note, it is astonishing to me how much this little girl comprehends...and feels. At the end of the movie, aftering having thier fill of neverland, Wendy, her brothers, the lost boys and of course Pan return to the nursery...they find their mother sleeping in the rocker and they want to surprise her about thier return, so they hop into bed without waking her...she eventually wakes and after looking at the beds and seeing but not beleiving the kids are actually in thier beds, she exits the room... AT THIS MOMENT ELLA CLIMBS INTO MY LAP AND IS WEEPING! Not knowing what to do, she sits there, tears and boogies streaming down her face, just pointing at the TV looking like she just witnessed the spontaneous explosion of Santa Claus...but then Mother rushes back to the room to discover the kids are real and embraces them all intensely...Ella's tears imediately cease and boogies dry faster than super glue...and she claps the clap of relief...

At 16 I learned that my finger didn't belong in my nose...how can she understand and feel this way?

What the Problem Is?

I am confused when people seperate out what they call challenges, trials, difficulties and road blocks from normal everyday life. How is it that you can differentiate between a "challenge" and life as it is meant to be? Dualism has never been a belief I've subscribed to, in fact it really chaps my backside...as my father used to say, "Dont piss down my back and tell me it's raining." What makes you, mister life is hard, think that your life is more or less important than everyone else? My brother was in the hospital this morning with kidney stones...it didnt ruin Christmas...he didn't put out the bat signal...when I asked how he was he simply shared that it hurt and then invited us over for a visit. I love that guy!
Life is and there is no arguing. To seperate, complain and call attention to aspects of your life that cause pain or suffering to try to avoid or lessen the affect, blocks paths leading to unknown places. Why do we do it then?
Fear. Fear of pain. Fear of loss. Fear of failure. Fear of embarssment. Fear of change. Fear of the unknown. That last one is the most interesting...how can one fear something UNKNOWN. You can't...what is really happening is fear of your imagination...silly.
Don't submit to the fear. Embrace life as it is. Explore, learn, feel, think, want, desire, need, communicate, experiment. But please whatever you do don't shy away from owning what is yours.
Don't be stupid either. A purpose of pain is to let us know that the thing causing the pain is undesirable...so learn from it. But don't undermine the lesson being taught either.
By the way, I do believe in empathy and love and one should be able to share their pains with friends and family, but only to the end of fulfilling the purpose of THAT life lesson.

Regrets...really?

So Vilayphone and I were cleaning out some old boxes when we happened across some old letters from family, friends, enemies and those that were sometimes both.

I found some notes from my father...I remember reading them when they were written and not really paying much attention to them...then again why would I have kept them if they didn't impact me in some way? The point is, reading them now as a father myself I realize and understand the voice and semi conscious state in which they were written. I regret not understanding my father better...I think I was capable but I just didn't put the time in to make that happen. I regret not taking the time...it was there I just failed.

I found some notes from girlfriends past. The odd thing is all of the letters had the same thing in common...I had done something to wrong them and they had the gumption to tell me all about it. Funny, I fancied myself as somewhat a decent guy...boy was I wrong :) I regret not being more understanding of their feelings or needs. I regret being selfish.

I am starting to understand the idea that youth is wasted on the young. However, I am blessed to have an eternity to make it right...unfortunately this doesnt benefit those I have wronged...I see a trend forming.

Be nice.

How do we know?

How do you know what you know. I was at lunch to day with my business partner and we started talking about the quest for understanding and truth...typical lite lunch convo :) We have similar yet differing ideas on what is true understanding but we share the same enjoyment of the quest and absolute disdain for the apathetic of the world.

I know little and I am even less wise. I don't even understand why my wife likes shoes so much...I will probably never be quoted in any regard and when my kids look to me for answers I do my best to mask my lack of knowledge.

HOWEVER...I know that application of mental faculties to enlarge understanding is a, if not the, basic requirement to be considered a human being. The waiting room of life is filled with the contently lost...the door is open...nothing keeps them there but apathetic laziness.

Make no mistake I don't claim to have answers...only questions...in fact I don't even know if the questions I am asking are worth anything to anyone else but me...BUT I ASK and I listen.

I enjoyed the lunch conversation and appreciate meeting another traveler on the endless road to nowhere.

P.S. I have been asking the question "what is?" for sometime...it bugs the crap out of my Mom. :)

Vientianne, Laos

Across the road from Vilayphones families house is the Mekong river and this tree...the place Mom and four kids entered the water in the middle of the night, leaving all they had behind.








Vilayphone and cousin Boop...we love her!

Starting clockwise with Vilayphone, cousin Boop, brother Kittisack, our driver (cant remember his name), cousin Ba'et, cousin Vilaysak, brother Boon, Dad Vithoune, cousin P'oui

There are so many stories...emotions...its hard to know where to start. Vilayphone doesn't remember a lot from her childhood days in Laos, other than the stories her family tells. She didn't know what to expect or think on our way there. While on the plane I asked her what she was feeling, thinking..."excited, nervous, anxious, happy."

Its impossible for me to portray her thoughts and feelings properly so I will stop trying. I can however offer some observations.

FAMILY

Having meet my family in Spain and Brazil I know what its like to instantly connect with someone you've never met. Meeting Vilayphones family in Thailand and Laos was no different!

P'oui was the first cousin we met. He was at the airport very early in the morning to help us get to our hotel, that he also arranged. It was easy to see that he is a good and loving person with a deep feeling of duty and connection with family.

After crossing the friendship bridge from Thailand into Laos and slowly churning through immigration, Boop, Vilaysak and others were there to greet us. Their beautiful smiles and laid back way made it instantly apparent this was family! We stayed at their home, ate their food and enjoy their friendship!

People are different but family is family and that bridges culture, language, food, climate and racial gaps. I (kohn cow, white people) felt accepted and part of the family. It didn't hurt that I jumped with both feet at any kind of food they through at me...from the dancing shrimp to the duck blood soup...so I got sick from the soup...but it was a small price to pay for admittance into the family.

LOVE

One of the my favorite lessons on love is that there is no one way to give or receive it. Love can be subtle and obvious, quite and loud, surprising and expected. But one constant attribute is its never ending ability to stretch, to include all people willing to receive what you are willing to give. Even though I couldn't communicate with my new found family and friends more than grunting and pointing (like after thanksgiving dinner when you are so stuffed you cant speak but want the remote that's on the other side of the room, to change the channel because you just can't take watching the Lions take yet another beating) the love imparted both ways was sufficient to tell our feelings. Come on, I couldn't be SO serious.

Regardless of my observations, the one thing that will mean the most is what do we do from here.? Do we file the experience away in the that was cool draw or was the experience enough to change our life? Or has it already?

Grand Palace, Thailand

Kong and Ryan
Below are the many of Gods of the Buddist Religion,
on a side note, when I was young and foolish, my mother
use to tell me to be better or one of these "Nyack" would
come and take me away.

A good day

#1 You ever have that day that ypou wish would never end? That was this day. It started with a little exploration of the areodynamics of dandylions (sp)
#3 Crazy face time
#4 Dirty feet on cool grass....need I say more.
#2 Then a little run around and pretend to hate getting squirted by the hose while Dad washed the car

I remember days like this when I was young...the worlds limitless possibilites in front of you...then I grew up and realized that my parents had a much better time watching us play, freely kidlike never thinking about anything past lunch.
When did making funny faces and running in the sprinklers loose its luster? When did enjoying living freely kidlike loose out to sitting in a cubicle, mindlessly navigating the keyboard and mouse around some pathetic process and flowchart created to improve the efficacy of business crapulence? Sorry just wondering the why, how, what, where and when of life. Its times like this, late in the day after a long day of fun with the kids and wife when life gets clear or fuzzy when I start typing like this.
Bed time...the end of a good day.

Pizza and Blues...Good.

muddy waters (inspired by his music in this build)
happy pie (self explanitory)
mount boboli (looks exactly nothing like the real mount boboli, but boboli is fun to say...bo-bo-li...good)

I have discovered my inner-Guido...apparently I like to build pizza. I don't "make" pizza, I build them...I have pictures of every pizza pie I have ever made. I have named all of them (around 50) these are my three favorites. Most friday nights, if we aren't on a date, we'll crank up some rock-a-billy and begin construction. If you are ever in town and want a good pie...come on over, chances are there will be ne hot out of the oven.

The Octagon

Few people know how tuff the Kong is. These photos were taken immediately following an exhibition of an extreme martial arts style that only a hand full of masters, including the kong, around the world practice. Her part of the demonstration was her ability to withstand blunt force trauma...from a 12lb sledge hammer. The bruising is a sign of how much pain she can take.
So that never happened...these bruises are from playing an hour of fake volleyball, called Wall-e-ball, at my sisters birthday.
Bruce Lee...more like Bruise Easy.
The Kong was unavailble for comment.

Batman's Bad Hair day

Lets be honest...this is what life is really like at our house, day after day. Major bed head, eating cereal as the dark knight...with a lego creation that transforms even the most plain of days into a space adventure...kind of like the great space coaster...and this is what your hair looks like after the ride...circles...going in circles. :)

DUDE!!







I am Optimus Prime








hhhhmmmm...the beginning of a deviously briliant plan to take out Prime...

A Holly, Jolly, Winter Wonderland

Sammy and Dad going sledding
The bean and Lala celebrate her 2nd birthday
Merry Christmas!!!