Cirque Cuellar

It is what it is

2010-03-13T09:04:00.002-07:00

When I debate or otherwise argue I like to employ the strategy of the "so" and "well, it is what it is". Go ahead and try, the argument ends when your come back is...so.
Your welcome.

FOcuS

2009-07-21T21:47:00.003-06:00

I dont know what it is lately but the more I try to focus on certain things the more difficult and obscure those things become.
Is that because they are no longer worth focusing on? Is that God's way of telling me I am going down the wrong path? Am I just being lazy?
Verdict: Lazy.

Prize Fighter

2009-02-15T22:06:00.001-07:00

Tony has taken a liking to boxing...Wii style. If you listen closely you can hear eye of the tiger...more like kitty cat...playing in the back ground :)

P&J Shoot

2009-02-02T13:57:00.002-07:00

Making movies is fun. We took a crew of five to Carson City Nevada this last weekend to shoot a short that we will submit to the LA Short Film Festival this year. Oh yeah...for those of you that don't know I own a video production / story telling company with my buddy Bryan Stewart, the other guy in the hat sitting on the dolly (that I pushed all day).

We do corporate video and commercials but are pushing towards feature land. Our company site is http://www.thevmgroup.net/ and you can see some of our work and a few demo reels we have cut.

The kid (Luke) is one of the actors...and yes that is an aquaman shirt and superman lunch box. We had Luke running away from a dog for around 2 hours...he was great.

What I really want to draw your attention to is the hair growing out from underneath my hat...in August I decide to do a little experiment....and it worked...the hair grows...think on top but its there man :)

He built most of it...I swear!

2009-01-28T21:42:00.000-07:00

So it was Tonys 1st pinewood derby...he cut the car, helped shape the wheels and polished the axles...AND HE WON IT ALL!!!!

After one of the dads came over to give his congrats...then asked to see the car...he immediately inspected the car for illegal what have you's...I told him we are really good cheaters then invited him to smoke pot with us in the parking lot...what a jackass :)

I am proud of my boy not because he won but by the way he won. He built it Elvis style...his way.

+1

2009-01-23T19:08:00.002-07:00

I picked up Vilayphone, belly button to belly button bear hug style, and went to the bed and fell into the comfy matress...I made a move for a little action and sure to form Sammy and Ella bound into the room joining us on the bed.

We all start to wrestle around and then I ask Sammy "How much do I love your Mom?" Sammy replies "uuummmm 1000." We all laugh and then Vilayphone asks, "is that all?" "Well, 1001 then" he replied.

How much is a lot? 1,000,000 is a lot of dollars but not pesos, unless of course you have no pesos...then 1 is a lot. 100 is a small number unless of course you are talking about elephants, then that is lot, unless you are from Laos (the land of 1,000,000 elephants) in which case you would have only a few.

I'm confused. But then again I am an old man with old man ways of thinking...maybe we should take a page from the kiddies: add 1 to any number and that is a lot.

Using that logic: I have a lot of kids (2+1= a lot), a lot of friends named Richard (4+1= a lot), a lot of hair (50+1= a lot), a lot of friends (you +1= a lot), a lot of everything + 1= a lot.

Getting to a lot is easy...just add 1.

Fantastic...+1 = a lot.

Bug-eyed!

2009-01-09T11:09:00.000-07:00

If her eyes got any bigger they would implode on themselves causing the whole family to disappear :) Ella likes dress up.

Peter Pan

2008-12-29T21:25:00.002-07:00

Last night the family was together watching Peter Pan...a personal favorite...toward the end of the movie the Wendy turns to Peter to give him a thimble (a kiss)...

Now the boys and I are sitting on the big couch, Vilayphone is on the little one and baby girl is on the ground wrapped in a blanket big enough for her to get lost in for a week.

...just as they kiss, I look over at the boys and we all make that kissing is gross noise, you know somewhere between the I hate going to the dentist groan and kindly remove the toothpick from my eyes, they've had enough noise...just as we are entering full swing into our audible rebellion of Wendy and Peter Pan's act, Ella, our just turned three years old but gonna DIVA anyway, whips around and with all the ferocity of a baby lamb grunts "its not silly, its not silly!" We lost it :)

On another note, it is astonishing to me how much this little girl comprehends...and feels. At the end of the movie, aftering having thier fill of neverland, Wendy, her brothers, the lost boys and of course Pan return to the nursery...they find their mother sleeping in the rocker and they want to surprise her about thier return, so they hop into bed without waking her...she eventually wakes and after looking at the beds and seeing but not beleiving the kids are actually in thier beds, she exits the room... AT THIS MOMENT ELLA CLIMBS INTO MY LAP AND IS WEEPING! Not knowing what to do, she sits there, tears and boogies streaming down her face, just pointing at the TV looking like she just witnessed the spontaneous explosion of Santa Claus...but then Mother rushes back to the room to discover the kids are real and embraces them all intensely...Ella's tears imediately cease and boogies dry faster than super glue...and she claps the clap of relief...

At 16 I learned that my finger didn't belong in my nose...how can she understand and feel this way?

What the Problem Is?

2008-12-25T20:10:00.003-07:00

I am confused when people seperate out what they call challenges, trials, difficulties and road blocks from normal everyday life. How is it that you can differentiate between a "challenge" and life as it is meant to be? Dualism has never been a belief I've subscribed to, in fact it really chaps my backside...as my father used to say, "Dont piss down my back and tell me it's raining." What makes you, mister life is hard, think that your life is more or less important than everyone else? My brother was in the hospital this morning with kidney stones...it didnt ruin Christmas...he didn't put out the bat signal...when I asked how he was he simply shared that it hurt and then invited us over for a visit. I love that guy!
Life is and there is no arguing. To seperate, complain and call attention to aspects of your life that cause pain or suffering to try to avoid or lessen the affect, blocks paths leading to unknown places. Why do we do it then?
Fear. Fear of pain. Fear of loss. Fear of failure. Fear of embarssment. Fear of change. Fear of the unknown. That last one is the most interesting...how can one fear something UNKNOWN. You can't...what is really happening is fear of your imagination...silly.
Don't submit to the fear. Embrace life as it is. Explore, learn, feel, think, want, desire, need, communicate, experiment. But please whatever you do don't shy away from owning what is yours.
Don't be stupid either. A purpose of pain is to let us know that the thing causing the pain is undesirable...so learn from it. But don't undermine the lesson being taught either.
By the way, I do believe in empathy and love and one should be able to share their pains with friends and family, but only to the end of fulfilling the purpose of THAT life lesson.

Regrets...really?

2008-11-23T21:55:00.005-07:00

So Vilayphone and I were cleaning out some old boxes when we happened across some old letters from family, friends, enemies and those that were sometimes both.

I found some notes from my father...I remember reading them when they were written and not really paying much attention to them...then again why would I have kept them if they didn't impact me in some way? The point is, reading them now as a father myself I realize and understand the voice and semi conscious state in which they were written. I regret not understanding my father better...I think I was capable but I just didn't put the time in to make that happen. I regret not taking the time...it was there I just failed.

I found some notes from girlfriends past. The odd thing is all of the letters had the same thing in common...I had done something to wrong them and they had the gumption to tell me all about it. Funny, I fancied myself as somewhat a decent guy...boy was I wrong :) I regret not being more understanding of their feelings or needs. I regret being selfish.

I am starting to understand the idea that youth is wasted on the young. However, I am blessed to have an eternity to make it right...unfortunately this doesnt benefit those I have wronged...I see a trend forming.

Be nice.

How do we know?

2008-11-21T19:12:00.003-07:00

How do you know what you know. I was at lunch to day with my business partner and we started talking about the quest for understanding and truth...typical lite lunch convo :) We have similar yet differing ideas on what is true understanding but we share the same enjoyment of the quest and absolute disdain for the apathetic of the world.

I know little and I am even less wise. I don't even understand why my wife likes shoes so much...I will probably never be quoted in any regard and when my kids look to me for answers I do my best to mask my lack of knowledge.

HOWEVER...I know that application of mental faculties to enlarge understanding is a, if not the, basic requirement to be considered a human being. The waiting room of life is filled with the contently lost...the door is open...nothing keeps them there but apathetic laziness.

Make no mistake I don't claim to have answers...only questions...in fact I don't even know if the questions I am asking are worth anything to anyone else but me...BUT I ASK and I listen.

I enjoyed the lunch conversation and appreciate meeting another traveler on the endless road to nowhere.

P.S. I have been asking the question "what is?" for sometime...it bugs the crap out of my Mom. :)

Vientianne, Laos

2008-06-29T16:05:00.004-06:00

Across the road from Vilayphones families house is the Mekong river and this tree...the place Mom and four kids entered the water in the middle of the night, leaving all they had behind.

Vilayphone and cousin Boop...we love her!

Starting clockwise with Vilayphone, cousin Boop, brother Kittisack, our driver (cant remember his name), cousin Ba'et, cousin Vilaysak, brother Boon, Dad Vithoune, cousin P'oui

There are so many stories...emotions...its hard to know where to start. Vilayphone doesn't remember a lot from her childhood days in Laos, other than the stories her family tells. She didn't know what to expect or think on our way there. While on the plane I asked her what she was feeling, thinking..."excited, nervous, anxious, happy."

Its impossible for me to portray her thoughts and feelings properly so I will stop trying. I can however offer some observations.

FAMILY

Having meet my family in Spain and Brazil I know what its like to instantly connect with someone you've never met. Meeting Vilayphones family in Thailand and Laos was no different!

P'oui was the first cousin we met. He was at the airport very early in the morning to help us get to our hotel, that he also arranged. It was easy to see that he is a good and loving person with a deep feeling of duty and connection with family.

After crossing the friendship bridge from Thailand into Laos and slowly churning through immigration, Boop, Vilaysak and others were there to greet us. Their beautiful smiles and laid back way made it instantly apparent this was family! We stayed at their home, ate their food and enjoy their friendship!

People are different but family is family and that bridges culture, language, food, climate and racial gaps. I (kohn cow, white people) felt accepted and part of the family. It didn't hurt that I jumped with both feet at any kind of food they through at me...from the dancing shrimp to the duck blood soup...so I got sick from the soup...but it was a small price to pay for admittance into the family.

LOVE

One of the my favorite lessons on love is that there is no one way to give or receive it. Love can be subtle and obvious, quite and loud, surprising and expected. But one constant attribute is its never ending ability to stretch, to include all people willing to receive what you are willing to give. Even though I couldn't communicate with my new found family and friends more than grunting and pointing (like after thanksgiving dinner when you are so stuffed you cant speak but want the remote that's on the other side of the room, to change the channel because you just can't take watching the Lions take yet another beating) the love imparted both ways was sufficient to tell our feelings. Come on, I couldn't be SO serious.

Regardless of my observations, the one thing that will mean the most is what do we do from here.? Do we file the experience away in the that was cool draw or was the experience enough to change our life? Or has it already?

Grand Palace, Thailand

2008-06-26T13:45:00.000-06:00

Kong and Ryan
Below are the many of Gods of the Buddist Religion,
on a side note, when I was young and foolish, my mother
use to tell me to be better or one of these "Nyack" would
come and take me away.

A good day

2008-05-24T22:29:00.000-06:00

#1 You ever have that day that ypou wish would never end? That was this day. It started with a little exploration of the areodynamics of dandylions (sp)
#3 Crazy face time
#4 Dirty feet on cool grass....need I say more.
#2 Then a little run around and pretend to hate getting squirted by the hose while Dad washed the car

I remember days like this when I was young...the worlds limitless possibilites in front of you...then I grew up and realized that my parents had a much better time watching us play, freely kidlike never thinking about anything past lunch.
When did making funny faces and running in the sprinklers loose its luster? When did enjoying living freely kidlike loose out to sitting in a cubicle, mindlessly navigating the keyboard and mouse around some pathetic process and flowchart created to improve the efficacy of business crapulence? Sorry just wondering the why, how, what, where and when of life. Its times like this, late in the day after a long day of fun with the kids and wife when life gets clear or fuzzy when I start typing like this.
Bed time...the end of a good day.

Pizza and Blues...Good.

2008-04-18T17:59:00.000-06:00

muddy waters (inspired by his music in this build)
happy pie (self explanitory)
mount boboli (looks exactly nothing like the real mount boboli, but boboli is fun to say...bo-bo-li...good)

I have discovered my inner-Guido...apparently I like to build pizza. I don't "make" pizza, I build them...I have pictures of every pizza pie I have ever made. I have named all of them (around 50) these are my three favorites. Most friday nights, if we aren't on a date, we'll crank up some rock-a-billy and begin construction. If you are ever in town and want a good pie...come on over, chances are there will be ne hot out of the oven.

The Octagon

2008-02-22T17:26:00.000-07:00

Few people know how tuff the Kong is. These photos were taken immediately following an exhibition of an extreme martial arts style that only a hand full of masters, including the kong, around the world practice. Her part of the demonstration was her ability to withstand blunt force trauma...from a 12lb sledge hammer. The bruising is a sign of how much pain she can take.
So that never happened...these bruises are from playing an hour of fake volleyball, called Wall-e-ball, at my sisters birthday.
Bruce Lee...more like Bruise Easy.
The Kong was unavailble for comment.

Batman's Bad Hair day

2008-02-22T16:55:00.000-07:00

Lets be honest...this is what life is really like at our house, day after day. Major bed head, eating cereal as the dark knight...with a lego creation that transforms even the most plain of days into a space adventure...kind of like the great space coaster...and this is what your hair looks like after the ride...circles...going in circles. :)

2008-01-09T21:04:00.000-07:00

DUDE!!

I am Optimus Prime

hhhhmmmm...the beginning of a deviously briliant plan to take out Prime...

A Holly, Jolly, Winter Wonderland

2008-01-09T20:52:00.000-07:00

Sammy and Dad going sledding
The bean and Lala celebrate her 2nd birthday
Merry Christmas!!!

I still dont know...

2007-11-21T17:48:00.000-07:00

I don't know why but whenever I try to make new friends, pie ends up on my face...this one was lemon meringue...

I said good day!

2007-11-21T17:44:00.000-07:00

"I don't care...I am gonna do it anyway." The previous statement was actually the thought the Kong had right before trying to pet the insane wild Lama in the petting zoo. The remainder of the pictures were to graphic for this blog...that Lama is brutal! DON"T PET THE LAMA!

I am the Bean Bean the mighty!

2007-11-21T17:30:00.000-07:00

I am the great Sambeano but you can call me beans...and I like the water. In fact this picture was taken just after I had a water fight in the house...with myself. I definitely won!

Princess LaLa

2007-11-21T17:25:00.000-07:00

The face is deceiving...she's a crazy one! We call her LaLa...skills include kung fu (toddler style), painting (only on the walls), acupuncture (you figure that one out) and melting her parents hearts.

Gonna be a dentist

2007-11-21T17:18:00.000-07:00

This Stinks

Wait...

This is kinda fun...

Look ma' no tooth!

Tony didn't beleive me that it wouldn't be that bad...only took 1.5 hours of coaxing, negotiating and talking...I should have been a crisis negotiator!

Hello!

2007-11-21T17:03:00.000-07:00

Family and friends welcome to our blog. Please enjoy the pictures and comments...and if you feel like it drop us a comment or two.